Frontiersman
479 E. 700 N.
Firth, Idaho 83236
Abolish the
SWAT teams
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Buck Hunter Shoots Off His Mouth
Dear Buck
I'm
worried. What can I do after I'm "over the hill"?
Thirty-Nine Something
Dear Thirty-Nine something
Coast.
Sesame Suite
Hermit the Frog: |
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Hey Priggy! |
Ms Priggy: |
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Yes, Hermie? |
Hermie: |
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How do you tell if a feminist has been using
your word processor? |
Priggy: |
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Rrrrrr! |
Hermie: |
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By the correction fluid on the monitor!
He he he — uh .... |
Priggy: |
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Haayyeeee — YAH! |
Hermie: |
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Whap! Oof! Thump! |
Sesame Suite is a production of the Children's Tunnelvision
Workshop
Intrinsic Value
author unknown, provided by Silicon Valley Bob
A
man saw a frog sitting on the sidewalk. As he walked by the frog
said, "Psst, hey mister. If you give me a kiss I'll turn into a beautiful
princess devoted to your every need for the rest of your life." The
man said, "Wow, that's really cool!" and picked up the frog and placed
it into his shirt pocket. Somewhat surprised to still be a frog and
riding in a shirt pocket, the frog repeated, "Psst, hey mister. If
you give me a kiss I'll turn into a beautiful princess devoted to your
every need for the rest of your life." Once again, the man smiled,
shook his head and said, "Wow, this is so cool!", and he continued walking
down the street. Now being more than a little angry that she was
still a frog, the princess said somewhat more forcefully, "PPSSSSTTTT,
Hey Mister! Obviously you didn't hear me the first two times!
Kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you've every seen!"
The man said, "I did hear you, but the thing is I'm an engineer and I really
don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog is worth keeping."
Acknowledgments
• My thanks to The
Affiliate, of Vankleek Hill, Ontario for regularly printing reviews
of the Frontiersman.
• My thanks to Lady Jan the Voluptuous for
her ongoing editorial assistance and for her countless other efforts in
support of this newsletter and of its editor.
• My thanks to Sir Donald the Elusive for paying
the production costs of this newsletter and for his additional contributions.
— editor
Frontiersman
Cancellations
— If you don't want to keep receiving this newsletter, print REFUSED, RETURN
TO SENDER above your name and address, cross out your name and address,
and return the newsletter. When I receive it, I'll terminate your
subscription. You may also cancel by letter, e-mail, carrier pigeon,
or any other method that gets the message to me.
Back
Issues — Back issues or extra copies of this newsletter are available
upon request.
Reprint
Policy — Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this newsletter
in its entirety or to reproduce material from it, provided that the reproduction
is accurate and that proper credit is given. Please note that I do
not have the authority to give permission to reprint material that I have
reprinted from other publications. For that permission, you must
go to the original source. I would appreciate receiving a courtesy
copy of any document or publication in which you reprint my material.
Submissions
— I solicit letters, articles, and cartoons for the newsletter, but I don't
pay for them. Short items are more likely to be printed. I
suggest that letters and articles be shorter than 500 words, but that's
flexible depending on space available and the content of the piece.
I give credit for all items printed unless the author specifies otherwise.
Payment
— This newsletter isn't for sale. If you care to make a voluntary
contribution, you may do so. The continued existence of the newsletter
will depend, in part, on such contributions. I accept cash and U.S.
postage stamps. I don't accept checks, money orders, anything that
will smell bad by the time it arrives, or anything that requires me to
provide ID or a signature to receive it. In case anybody is curious,
I also accept gold, silver, platinum, etc. I'm sure you get the idea.
— Sam Aurelius Milam III, editor
March 1998
Page 4 |
Frontiersman
479 E. 700 N., Firth, Idaho 83236 |
Frontiersman@ida.net |
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