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Eagle 3

Frontiersman, December 2002
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Title of Nobility
Sam Aurelius Milam III
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageNOBILITY.  An order of men, in several countries, to whom special privileges are granted.  The constitution of the United States provides, Art. I. § 10, that "no state shall grant any title of nobility."....
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15x5 Page Background GIF Imagelicense.... n.1.a.  Official or legal permission to do or own a specified thing.  See Synonyms at permission.  b.  Proof of permission granted, usually in the form of a document, card, plate, or tag: a driver's license....
American Heritage Dictionary
of the English Language, 1992
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15x5 Page Background GIF ImageWhat could be simpler?  A driver's license is a grant of access to many privileged activities.  It's an unconstitutional title of nobility.  Of course, it doesn't matter to me.  The U.S. constitution doesn't have any jurisdiction over me and I don't have a driver's license anyway.  However, it should matter to a U.S. citizen.  After reading this, any U.S. citizen should start looking for a way to abolish driver's licenses.  I'm not holding my breath.  The abysmal behavior of U.S. citizens since September 11, 2001 has convinced me that they're more interested in security than in liberty.  Why would they care about the constitution?  I expect that they'll all continue as before.  Eventually, people always get the kind of government that they deserve.  The U.S. government is a good example.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageGun

The Long Search for Liberty
Sam Aurelius Milam III
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageI've been fighting to restore liberty on this continent for more than 30 years.  In the late 60's, I wrote letters to congressmen, corporations, and so forth.  When I realized that it was useless, I quit doing it and tried something else.  In the 70's, I worked with the Libertarian Party.  I handed out fliers, registered voters, manned the booth at the county fair, and so forth.  When I realized that it was useless, I quit doing it and tried something else.  During the 80's, I worked with the Constitutional Patriots.  I read law books, sat in court, and so forth.  When I realized that it was useless, I quit doing it and tried something else.  I wrote essays for several years.  I couldn't get people to read them.  In 1994, I started this newsletter.  After nine years of publication, it's beginning to seem useless.  Liberty isn't being restored.  Not only that, my financial situation is desperate and getting worse.  My principled refusal to cooperate with tyranny has made it impossible for me to be employed.  A few people have contributed generously but those few can't afford the level of support that I need in order to survive.  So, I'm soliciting the readers.  If enough people tell me that this newsletter has caused them to make some effort to resist the tyranny, then maybe I'll keep writing it, if I can.  If I receive enough pledges of financial support to allow me to survive, then I'll certainly keep writing it.  Yah, I need money and I think the readers can provide it.  Politics is all well and good, but I can't continue the fight if I end up living under a bridge.  So, the ball is in your court, readers.  If you want this thing to continue, then it's time for you to do something.  OK, maybe it's just too difficult for some of you to actually oppose the tyranny yourselves.  If that's the case, then at least support me so I can continue trying to do it for all of us.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageGun

Big Piece of Cardboard
Sam Aurelius Milam III
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageI'm being forced to move out of my present home, so I'm looking for someplace else to live.  I'll need several rooms for my furniture, books, tools, and other possessions.  I'll need the use of a telephone line for internet access.  I'm permanently unemployed, so the only way that I can pay for such accommodations is to do some sort of work in exchange for room and board.  Of course, accommodations donated by someone who supports my political fight would be nice.  I'd like to hear from anyone who's willing to discuss some such arrangement.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageGun

frontiersman@ida.net Frontiersman, 479 E. 700 N., Firth, Idaho  83236
Also see Pharos at http://www.ida.net/users/pharos/
December 2002
Page 1 

Stray Thoughts
Sam Aurelius Milam III
     Democracy, as it is presently practiced, is nothing more than another method whereby people can impose their beliefs on other people who do not share them.
     Prohibition doesn't prevent bad behavior.  It converts bad behavior into criminal behavior, providing job security for cops, stuffing the prisons, and not reducing bad behavior at all.
     I don't know of anywhere in the entire world where voting is a right.  In every instance, it is at best regulated behavior a privilege.  Worse yet, Herr Bush has recently declared that, in America, it is a duty.  Will you be punished if you don't vote?
     I noticed on the news that we're all waiting for the U.S. government to decide if we should receive smallpox vaccinations, and if they should be mandatory.  What?  Why can't I just walk into a clinic and buy a vaccination if I want one?  Why does the government have to decide whether or not I can have it and, worse yet, whether or not it should be mandatory?10x5 Page Background GIF ImageGun
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Help me defend liberty.
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  Publicize Pharos:
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  Send cash contributions (no checks, please) to Frontiersman, 479 E.  700 N., Firth, Idaho  83236.
  Seek liberty in your own life.

Letter to the Editor
Hi Sam
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageIn the November 2002 Frontiersman you write:  "... most Americans .... even believe that terrorists are more dangerous than politician."  It's written as if to say that, "Of course, politicians are more dangerous than terrorists."  Do you really believe that?  Terrorists kill thousands of innocent people.  How can you possibly believe that politicians are more dangerous??  Thanks, Sam.  I always enjoy the Frontiersman, but have a hard time with this one.
Tom;  Redwood City, California
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15x5 Page Background GIF ImageOf course I believe it.  Politicians have caused the deaths of millions of people, even if you consider only recent decades.  Terrorists aren't even in the same league.

Alternate Meanings for Words
Source unknown.  Forwarded by Susan, of Buhl, Idaho
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageThese are reportedly some of the winning entries in a Washington Post contest in which readers were asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
01.  Sarchasm:  The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
02.  Reintarnation:  Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
03.  Giraffiti:  Vandalism spray-painted very high.
04.  Foreploy:  Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
05.  Inoculatte:  To take coffee intravenously.
06.  Osteopornosis:  A degenerate disease.
07.  Karmageddon:  It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?  and then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.
08.  Glibido:  All talk and no action.
09.  Dopeler effect:  The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
10.  Intaxication:  Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageInfinity Symbol
Nine Lives
Source Unknown.  Forwarded by Warren, of Pocatello, Idaho
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageTwo church members knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them.  She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces.  To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open.  She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result the door bounced back open.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageConvinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again you need to move your cat."10x5 Page Background GIF ImageInfinity Symbol

December 2002
Page 2
Frontiersman, 479 E. 700 N., Firth, Idaho  83236
Also see Pharos at http://www.ida.net/users/pharos/

Bank Announcement
Source Unknown.  Forwarded by David, of Idaho Falls, Idaho
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageHSBC Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new "Drive-thru" cash point machines where our customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.  To enable our customers to make full use of these new facilities, we have conducted intensive behavioral studies to develop appropriate procedures for their use.  Please read the procedures that apply to you (i.e.  MALE or FEMALE) and remember them when you use our new machines for the first time.
Procedures For Our Male Customers:
01.  Drive up to the cash machine.
02.  Wind down your car window.
03.  Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
04.  Enter amount of cash required.
05.  Retrieve card, cash, and receipt.
06.  Wind up window.
07.  Drive off.
Procedures For Our Female Customers:
01.  Drive up to cash machine.
02.  Reverse back the required amount to align car window with cash machine.
03.  Restart the stalled engine.
04.  Wind down the window.
05.  Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
06.  Turn the radio down.
07.  Attempt to insert card into machine.
08.  Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to excessive distance from the car.
09.  Insert card.
10.  Reinsert card the right way up.
11.  Reenter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
12.  Enter PIN.
13.  Press "Cancel" and reenter correct PIN.
14.  Enter amount of cash required.
15.  Check make-up in rear view mirror.
16.  Retrieve cash and receipt.
17.  Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside. 
18.  Place receipt in back of check book. 
19.  Recheck make-up.
20.  Drive forward 2 meters.
21.  Reverse back to cash machine.
22.  Retrieve card.
23.  Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
24.  Restart stalled engine and drive off. 
25.  Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
26.  Release hand brake.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageInfinity Symbol
Dead Language
Source Unknown.  Forwarded by Bob, of San Jose, California
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageHaving chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in communications between Government departments.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageEuropean officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily difficult;  for example:  cough, plough, rough, through and thorough.  What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to iron out these anomalies.  The programme would, of course, be administered by a committee of participating nations.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageIn the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' instead of the soft 'c'.  Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would resieve this news with joy.  Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' sinse both letters are pronounsed alike.  Not only would this klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be made with one less letter.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageThere would be growing enthousiasm when in the sekond year, it was anounsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'.  This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty persent shorter in print.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageIn the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible.  Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageWe would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful.  Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ as though nothing had hapend.  By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as replasing 'th' by 'z'.  Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'.  Shortly after zis, ze unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou'.  Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageKontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl riten styl.  After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer.  Ze drems of the Guvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageInfinity Symbol
frontiersman@ida.net Frontiersman, 479 E. 700 N., Firth, Idaho  83236
Also see Pharos at http://www.ida.net/users/pharos/
December 2002
Page 3 

479 E.  700 N. 
Firth, Idaho  83236 
The United Nations
is far more dangerous
than Iraq.
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Buck Hunter Shoots Off His Mouth
Dear Buck
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageWhat do you think of Indonesia's Megawati?
Political Analyst
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Dear Political Analyst
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageThe biggest bulb I have it 200 watts, in the barn.  I guess they must use bigger ones in some places.

15x5 Page Background GIF ImageMy thanks to the following for their assistance:  Lady Helen the Gracious, Lady Shirley the Benevolent, Sir James the Bold, Sir John the Generous, Sir Donald the Elusive, and Liberty Link, of Sacramento, California.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageSpecial thanks again to Lady Helen the Gracious and Sir James the Bold.


Best Laid Plans
Source Unknown.  Forwarded by Warren, of Pocatello, Idaho
     The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.  At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.  A minute later, in full view, they were both eaten by a killer whale.
     In 1992, Frank Perkins, of Los Angeles, made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record.  Suffering from the flu, he came down eight hours short of the 400 day record.  Meanwhile, his sponsor had gone bankrupt, his girlfriend had left him, and his phone and electricity had been disconnected.

15x5 Page Background GIF ImageCancellations If you don't want to keep receiving this newsletter, print REFUSED, RETURN TO SENDER above your name and address, cross out your name and address, and return the newsletter.  When I receive it, I'll terminate your subscription.  You may also cancel by letter, e-mail, carrier pigeon, or any other method that gets the message to me.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageBack Issues Back issues or extra copies of this newsletter are available upon request.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageReprint Policy Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this newsletter in its entirety or to reproduce material from it, provided that the reproduction is accurate and that proper credit is given.  Please note that I do not have the authority to give permission to reprint material that I have reprinted from other sources.  For that permission, you must go to the original source.  I would appreciate receiving a courtesy copy of any document or publication in which you reprint my material.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageSubmissions I solicit letters, articles, and cartoons for the newsletter, but I don't pay for them.  Short items are more likely to be printed.  I suggest that letters and articles be shorter than 500 words, but that's flexible depending on space available and the content of the piece.  I give credit for all items printed unless the author specifies otherwise.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImagePayment This newsletter isn't for sale.  If you care to make a voluntary contribution, you may do so.  The continued existence of the newsletter will depend, in part, on such contributions.  I accept cash, U.S. postage stamps, prepaid telephone cards, and so forth.  I will accept checks or money orders only by prior arrangement.  I don't accept anything that requires me to provide ID or a signature to receive it.  In case anybody is curious, I also accept gold, silver, platinum, etc.  I'm sure you get the idea. 
Sam Aurelius Milam III, editor

December 2002
Page 4
Frontiersman, 479 E. 700 N., Firth, Idaho  83236
Also see Pharos at http://www.ida.net/users/pharos/
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