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Eagle 3

Frontiersman, February 2009
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Supercalifragilispoliticallycorrectcious
Sam Aurelius Milam III
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageIn December of 2008, I transferred a recording of Mary Poppins from a videocassette to a DVD.  Both the videocassette and the DVD belonged to a friend.  When I transfer shows for myself, I transfer them from the DVD to the videocassette.  I prefer videocassettes because when I remove a videocassette from the machine and put it back in later, it automatically remembers where it stopped and it starts there automatically.  A DVD can't do that.  Most people might not think that's a very important deficiency in DVDs.  However, I sometimes don't get to watch an entire show, nonstop.  When I began writing this article, I checked and noted that I had three videocassettes waiting on the top of my television.  For one reason or another, I hadn't finished watching whatever was on them before I removed them from the machine.  Each videocassette had been sitting there for long enough that, at the time, I didn't remember where I'd stopped watching any show contained on any of the videocassettes.  In fact, I didn't even remember what shows were on the videocassettes.  However, I wasn't worried.  I knew that, when I finally got around to watching them again, they'd automatically remember where to start.  With DVDs, I don't even bother.  If I have to remove a DVD from the machine before I finish watching the show, then I just put it back on the shelf and hope that the next time I'll be able to watch the entire show before something interrupts me.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageNow, I'll get back to my original reason for writing this article.  After the movie, the videocassette had a short documentary called Hollywood goes to a World Premiere.  Since it was about the movie, I included it in what I transferred from the videocassette to the DVD.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageOne of the things shown in the documentary was a performance, taken directly from the movie, of the song Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  I've heard the song before, so I'm familiar with the lyrics.  At one point, singing about the long word, Mary Poppins sings, "...but better use it carefully or it could change your life..."  The next line is sung by one of the animated characters.  He says, as an aside, "for example," and then he sings "One night I said it to a girl and now me girl's me wife!" whereupon his huge wife whops him on the head with a tambourine.  In another hasty aside, he meekly asserts "and a lovely thing she is, too!"  After that, the song continues.  Notice that the rhyme and rhythm require that the second line mentioned above must follow the first line mentioned above.  The lines that follow the second line don't fit the rhyme and rhythm unless the animated character sings his line.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageI noticed that, in the documentary, the entire sequence including the line sung by the animated character, his physical abuse by his large wife, and his assertion that she's a lovely thing, were all omitted.  There was actually a blip in the documentary where the cut had been made.  After that, the song continued exactly as in the movie.  Only that one line and the associated action were omitted.  To verify my suspicion, I went back through the movie until I found the song.  For the benefit of anyone who wants to verify it for himself, it's about 58 minutes from the beginning of the movie.  The deleted sequence is only about five seconds long.  The documentary could have been shortened by many seconds, if necessary, by eliminating views of the audience.  I don't believe that the sequence was omitted to shorten the documentary.  I believe that some bunch of wild-eyed, foaming-at-the-mouth, arm-waving, evangelistic, PC censors decided that the sequence was offensive to some other group of sniveling whiners and demanded that it be removed.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageGun


Please use the enclosed envelope to send a contribution.  I prefer cash.  For checks or money orders, please inquire.
For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net.

February 2009Frontiersman, c/o 4984 Peach Mountain Drive, Gainesville, Georgia  30507     Page 1
 

 
 
 
Fire an Ant, Kill a Bee
Sam Aurelius Milam III
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageIn December of 2008, I came across an old recording of In Search Of.  The copyright date is in Roman numerals so I don't know how old the recording is.  However, Leonard Nimoy was as skinny as a snake and was wearing bellbottom blue jeans, a wide belt, and a pink long-sleeved shirt.  So, the recording must be pretty old.  The program was about killer bees and deadly ants, mostly fire ants.  According to the program, the insects are advancing inexorably.  Large amounts of funds have been spent on eliminating them, to no avail.  They can't be stopped.  I couldn't help but to think of overcreatures.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageI've been pondering the idea of overcreatures since sometime in the 1980s.  During the ten years between 1998 and 2008, I went from thinking of overcreatures as "a strange notion"1 to making the statement that "a corporation is alive".2  Be that as it may, it's a fact that the people who work within corporations don't have much freedom of choice with regard to any behavior that affects their corporations.  Rather, they must behave according to the incentives and restrictions that are brought to bear upon them by their corporations.  That fact has serious implications for such things as the eradication of insect pests.3  That is, so long as killer bees, fire ants, and other such pests continue to be a threat, the agencies charged with eradicating them will continue to have a secure future.  On the other hand, if the insect problem is ever solved, then the agencies won't be needed any more.  They might be disbanded.  Thus, the incentives within the agencies are to study the problem but not to solve it.  The best possible result to be expected is that the agencies might cause the number of people who are benefiting from the problem to be greater than the number of people who are suffering from it.4
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageHere's a better idea.  Disband the agencies and set aside their previous annual budgets as a reward for whoever first finds a satisfactory solution to the problem.  The research will still be done by agencies of one sort or another but the incentives and the restrictions will have been transformed.  Instead of making a living from the continued existence of the problems, the new research agencies will benefit only from their satisfactory solutions.  Thus, the problems will be solved.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageGun
1
 ^ 
A Mind of its Own, January 1998, page 1
2
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Proliferation, April 2008, pages 1 and 2
3
 ^ 
Incidentally, the same consideration applies to such things as curing cancer, stopping the importation of illegal drugs, combating pornography, and so forth.
4
 ^ 
Rich Man, Poor Man, Beggar Man, Thief:  A Satirical Essay, Wednesday, January 2, 1985, Sam Aurelius Milam III

Cause and Effect, Fiction and Fact
Sam Aurelius Milam III
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageIn January of this year, I watched part of a movie called Hook.  It's a story of Peter Pan, grown up and played by Robin Williams.  I didn't watch the entire movie but I did see one sequence that nicely illustrated my observation that women have a genetic mandate to control men.5  It was the typical situation where a woman complains that her husband is concentrating too hard on his job and isn't paying enough attention to the kids.  Of course, if he didn't concentrate on his job, then she'd complain that he was a slob and wasn't supporting the family.  Either way, she manufactures an opportunity to control him by condemning his behavior.  Anyway, in this movie, Peter was engaged in a critical cell phone conversation, trying to resolve an emergency that was threatening to ruin the company for which he worked.  His wife was interfering with his conversation, nagging him that he ought to be paying attention to the kids, instead.  When he insisted on continuing the conversation, trying to deal with the situation at work, she grabbed the cell phone out of his hand and threw it out the window.  The dog picked it up and buried it in a hole in the ground.  (I think that scene was intended to be funny.)  The woman continued to nag about the kids until Peter relented.  Of course, after the dog had buried his cell phone, he didn't have much of a choice anyway.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageThe movie was fiction but women really behave that way.  In the movie, it didn't have any consequences.  In real life, it's an example of the kind of thing that causes domestic violence.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageMale Symbol
5
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From the Nesting Urge to the Wander Lust, July 2007, page 4

Please use the enclosed envelope to send a contribution.  I prefer cash.  For checks or money orders, please inquire.
For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net.

Page 2Frontiersman, c/o 4984 Peach Mountain Drive, Gainesville, Georgia  30507 February 2009
 

 
 
 
Letter to the Editor
Hi Sam,
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageIs it my suspicious nature or am I actually getting the real idea here:
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageWith the new government mandatory shift to DTV next month, the broadcasting networks and the government now will receive a signal back from each receiver.  This signal will carry what is being viewed.  What else will it carry?  I can understand how it is a broadcasting network's dream come true to instantly know not only their own ratings but all others also.  No more expensive fees to agencies to call around to find out what people are watching.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageBut the real question remains:  What else is the signal feeding back, to whom and for what purposes??? 
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageAppreciatively,
—Millie;  Baltimore, Maryland
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15x5 Page Background GIF ImageWhenever the government makes anything mandatory, we should all be suspicious of the motives.  In this particular case, I'm embarrassed to admit that the possibility that you're suggesting hadn't occurred to me.  You're suggesting that every digital television might become a telescreen, as in Orwell's 1984.  It's a scary thought, particularly because of its plausibility.  However, now that you've got me to thinking about it, how about computers?  Consider Echelon, that was such a big deal a few years ago.1   Maybe they don't use their word-recognition software just to conduct surveillance of faxes and email messages any more.  Do you really know for sure that your computer doesn't have some kind of little hidden webcam that makes available to Echelon everything that you do within the view of your computer?  I don't know.  Maybe some of the readers of this newsletter might be better informed.  If so, then I'd like to hear from them.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageI recall that, some years ago, my good friend Sir John the Generous told me an FBI joke.  The FBI will give anybody who wants it a free document shredder.  The shredder will include a built-in scanner and microwave uplink that will scan all documents as they're being shredded and send the images to the FBI computer.  It was amusing but Sir John also suggested that I should open and inspect any electronic device that had been repaired by any licensed repair service.  I'm not sure if he was joking about that.  Who knows what they put inside?
—editor

1
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ECHELON

Free Return
Sam Aurelius Milam III
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageShortly after I mailed the January 2009 newsletters, I received two of the donation envelopes back in the mail.  They weren't sealed.  They were empty.  They didn't have any return addresses.  They were postmarked "NORTH METRO GA 300 30 DEC 2008 PM 7 L".  They didn't have any postage stamps.  Would anybody like to speculate about how they got out of the newsletters, which were sealed at each end, and why the Post Office sent them back to me, even though they didn't have any postage?10x5 Page Background GIF ImageGun

Stray Thoughts
Sam Aurelius Milam III
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageMore Than A Game — An interesting way to look at the various games of Solitaire is that they graphically represent our ongoing struggle to bring order out of chaos.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageSelf Image — I already have a sufficiently large number of faults without counting false modesty among them.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageFamily Values Doublethink — Babies are beautiful.  Sex is dirty.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageOdd Thought — The number three.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageSpouses — It's risky to completely trust somebody who has the power to hurt you.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageCloset Law — Your closet will eventually be filled with clothes that you don't like.  You wear the clothes that you like, they wear out, and you throw them away.  You don't wear the clothes that you don't like, so they accumulate.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageEmpowerment — Why do you have to apply to a court to change your name?  Why is it any of the court's business?  If you want to change your name, then just do it.  In fact, that ought to be the first right of a man when he attains his majority.  He should be able to pick a new name instead of the one that he received, without his knowledge or consent, from his parents.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageMisinformation — When we were kids, our parents chided us for sitting too close to the television.  They said that it would ruin our eyesight.  Now, we spend all day sitting close to a computer monitor, which is the same deal as a television.  It doesn't seem to have ruined our eyesight.  What other lies did they tell us?10x5 Page Background GIF ImageGun


Please use the enclosed envelope to send a contribution.  I prefer cash.  For checks or money orders, please inquire.
For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net.

February 2009Frontiersman, c/o 4984 Peach Mountain Drive, Gainesville, Georgia  30507     Page 3
 

 
 
 
Frontiersman 
c/o 4984 Peach Mountain Drive
Gainesville, Georgia  30507 
 
 
Religion is man's perversion of spirituality.15x15 Page Background GIF Image
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Acknowledgments
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageMy thanks to the following:  SantaClara Bob;  Lady Jan the Voluptuous;  my mother;  Dewey and Betty;  and Joseph, of Northridge, California.
— editor
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Daffynitions
Original Source Unknown.  Forwarded by Don G.
•Cannibal — Someone who is fed up with people
•Handkerchief — Cold Storage10x5 Page Background GIF ImageInfinity Symbol
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Differences Between Men and Women
Original Source Unknown.  Forwarded by Don G.
•A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering them.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageInfinity Symbol
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Descriptions of Stupidity
Original Source Unknown.  Forwarded by Don G.
•The gates are down and the lights are flashing but the train isn't coming.
•He has two brains.  One of them is lost and the other one is out looking for it.
•He's so dense that light bends around him.
•If he were any more stupid, then he'd have to be watered twice a week.
•If you stand close enough to him, then you can hear the ocean.
•It takes him an hour-and-a-half to watch 60 Minutes.
•Some drink from the fountain of knowledge.  He just gargled.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageInfinity Symbol

Frontiersman
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageSubscriptions and Back Issues — Printed copies of this newsletter, either subscriptions or back issues, are available by application only.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageCancellations — If you don't want to keep receiving this newsletter, then print REFUSED, RETURN TO SENDER above your name and address and return the newsletter.  When I receive it, I'll terminate your subscription.  You can also cancel by letter, e-mail, carrier pigeon, or any other method that gets the message to me.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageReprint Policy — Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this newsletter in its entirety or to reproduce material from it, provided that the reproduction is accurate and that proper credit is given.  Please note that I do not have the authority to give permission to reprint material that I have reprinted from other sources.  For that permission, you must go to the original source.  I would appreciate receiving a courtesy copy of any document or publication in which you reprint my material.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageSubmissions — I solicit letters, articles, and cartoons for the newsletter, but I don't pay for them.  Short items are more likely to be printed.  I suggest that letters and articles be shorter than 500 words but that's flexible depending on space available and the content of the piece.  I give credit for all items printed unless the author specifies otherwise.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImagePayment — This newsletter isn't for sale.  If you care to make a voluntary contribution, then I prefer cash, prepaid telephone cards, or U.S. postage stamps.  For checks or money orders please inquire.  For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net.  The continued existence of the newsletter will depend, in part, on such contributions.  I don't accept anything that requires me to provide ID to receive it.  In case anybody's curious, I also accept gold, silver, platinum, etc. 
— Sam Aurelius Milam III, editor
Please use the enclosed envelope to send a contribution.  I prefer cash.  For checks or money orders, please inquire.
For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net.

Page 4 Frontiersman, c/o 4984 Peach Mountain Drive, Gainesville, Georgia  30507 February 2009
 
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