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dren. A man who has a sexual attraction
to children is a pedophile. A man who has a sexual attraction to
adolescents isn't a pedophile. A 15-year-old female isn't a child.
She's an adolescent.
Animals don't feed. They eat. You feed them. Birds aren't born. They hatch. The shade is the unlighted portion of an object from which light is blocked by the object itself. The shadow is the unlighted portion of an object from which light is blocked by a different object. The umbra is the region between the shadow and the shade. Depending upon the arrangement of the relevant objects and the light source, there might not be a shadow but only a shade and an umbra. Whatever the case, you cannot stand in the shade of the old apple tree. You can stand in the umbra of the old apple tree, with the shade above you and the shadow below you. An object is slippery. A surface is slick. May denotes permission. Can denotes ability. "Mother, may I go play with Sally?" "Yes, Johnny, but only if you can avoid getting her pregnant." The sun is the star around which the Earth orbits. You don't get a suntan by standing in the sun. You get vaporized by standing in the sun. You get a suntan by standing in the sunshine, at a safe distance of about 93 million miles. A girl is a young female human. A young female canine isn't a girl. She's a bitch. The word girl designates a young female human, not a young female dog, goat, bird, or whatever. Also, an adult female human isn't a girl. She's a woman. She can also be a bitch. Now that's really confusing. Will denotes cooperation or intention. Can denotes ability. "Johnny, will you come over for a visit?" "Yes, Sally, but only if you can avoid becoming pregnant." Victor Borge noted that we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway. He commented that it's our language and that he was only trying to use it. In fact, he used it better than some of us do. I have a friend in the Netherlands who uses it better than many of us do. Without a doubt, it's a difficult and even an irrational language. Many of its rules and usages don't make any sense at all.2 However, it's important that we learn to use the language as well as it can be used. Also, it's our language. We can do whatever we want to do with it.3 We can improve it. We can avoid letting it get any more irrational than it already is. Above all else, we shouldn't let its irrational quirks confuse us. The confused use of language both reflects and encourages confused thinking. A while back, I was riding somewhere with a friend. I commented that, in this country, there are very few things that we can do without permission. He announced, "I don't need permission to drive this car!" I tried to explain to him that he's likely to be punished if he drives the car without permission. I tried to explain that his driver's license is permission to drive the car. He didn't reply. I don't know if he understood me or not. Maybe to him, the words rights and privileges are synonyms. If both words mean the same thing, then the concepts that they express will be the same. There won't be any difference between rights and privileges. In such a case, when two different concepts become the same, one of them will eventually be forgotten completely. Rights will turn into privileges. Currency will serve as money. Brainwashing will replace education.
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Traveling Angels
Original Source Unknown. Forwarded by BLA, of Schertz, Texas. Two angels, traveling incognito, stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead, the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw that some plaster was deteriorating at one location on the wall, and repaired it. The younger angel asked why. The older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem." The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had, the farmer and his wife slept on chairs and let the angels sleep in the bed. When the sun came up the next morning, the angels found that the farmer and his wife were in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their only source of income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was furious. After they had resumed their travels, she demanded an answer. "The first family had everything but was greedy, yet you helped them," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die." "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion," replied the older angel, "I noticed that some previous owner had hidden gold in that wall and had covered the hole with plaster. It was inferior to the plaster on the rest of the wall, and was deteriorating. Soon, the wealthy owner would have noticed it and discovered the gold. Since he was so greedy, and unwilling to share his good fortune, I repaired the wall with plaster that's identical to the original plaster. He won't find the gold. Then last night as we slept in the farmer's bed, the angel of death came for the farmer's wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem." Sometimes that's what happens when things don't turn out as we think that they should. We need to have faith that every outcome is always for a reason. We just might not know what that reason is until some time later, if ever. Letter to the Editor Hi Sam, Thanks for the article on Comcast's downgrade. I do not have cable or any other paid TV stuff. I have a big antenna on the roof and an old TV. My VCR (play/record)/DVD (player only) is about 8 years old. I too was happily recording things which interested me both when I was home and programmed for when I was not. I'm not super techno savvy but I got what I wanted on tape. Creating the copies I sent to you was a learning experience for me on taping a tape. I chose to go with a HDTV converter box rather than buy a bunch of new stuff. I don't watch a whole lot of TV; so the investment just didn't warrant it. However, I learned real fast that I couldn't copy anything coming through this little converter box. I tried different connections. I talked with techno guys at big electronic stores. (They clearly had no interest in servicing my needs with info as it didn't mean any sale for them.) I got nowhere! So when June 12 came along, no more copying for me. Sad I was. But hope! I receive your newsletter and sit down with some iced tea to enjoy your latest. And low and behold! There is the answer to my questions, the solution to my problem. I try it your way. Yes, I have to be home but at least it works! Thank you so much for writing all that you do. Keep up the great service. With love and appreciation, Millie; Baltimore, Maryland
Stray Thoughts Sam Aurelius Milam III Naval Intelligence A ship can be named after a man but it will still be referred to as she and her. Until Then Do We Part A marriage can be established for any term that the prospective spouses regard as appropriate. There isn't any reason why it has to be a lifetime commitment. Our expectation that it should is nothing more than a widely held assumption. It isn't a law of nature. Indeed, it's foolish for us to expect that young people are capable of successfully selecting a companion for life. As I noted in Another Compendium of Wit and Wisdom, good decisions come from experience and experience comes from bad decisions. Please use the enclosed envelope to send a contribution. I prefer cash. For checks or money orders, please inquire. For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net.
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Acknowledgments My thanks to the following: SantaClara Bob; Lady Jan the Voluptuous; my mother; and Dewey and Betty. editor
Court Quotes From Humor in the Court and More Humor in the Court, by Mary Louise Gilman, editor of the National Shorthand Reporter. Forwarded by Don G.
Doctor Goofs Actual statements that doctors wrote on patients' charts. Original Source Unknown. Forwarded by Don G.
Frontiersman Subscriptions and Back Issues Printed copies of this newsletter, either subscriptions or back issues, are available by application only. Cancellations If you don't want to keep receiving this newsletter, then print REFUSED, RETURN TO SENDER above your name and address and return the newsletter. When I receive it, I'll terminate your subscription. You can also cancel by letter, e-mail, carrier pigeon, or any other method that gets the message to me. Reprint Policy Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this newsletter in its entirety or to reproduce material from it, provided that the reproduction is accurate and that proper credit is given. Please note that I do not have the authority to give permission to reprint material that I have reprinted from other sources. For that permission, you must go to the original source. I would appreciate receiving a courtesy copy of any document or publication in which you reprint my material. Submissions I solicit letters, articles, and cartoons for the newsletter, but I don't pay for them. Short items are more likely to be printed. I suggest that letters and articles be shorter than 500 words but that's flexible depending on space available and the content of the piece. I give credit for all items printed unless the author specifies otherwise. Payment This newsletter isn't for sale. If you care to make a voluntary contribution, then I prefer cash, prepaid telephone cards, or U.S. postage stamps. For checks or money orders please inquire. For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net. The continued existence of the newsletter will depend, in part, on such contributions. I don't accept anything that requires me to provide ID to receive it. In case anybody's curious, I also accept gold, silver, platinum, etc. Sam Aurelius Milam III, editor
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