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details about the composition of the research
staff or the identity of the institution in which the research was conducted.
I can only report what I recall from watching the documentary. I
recall that the scientists used various means of detecting brain activity,
including an MRI machine and various other gadgets. The MRI machine
was equipped with a video display that the research subjects could watch
during the experiments. I'll call the video display an erotiscope.
The scientists used the erotiscope to show sexually interesting images
to the test subjects, during testing. So, while the brain activity
of the test subjects was being monitored by the MRI machine and by the
various other gadgets, the scientists used the erotiscope to show the test
subjects video clips of erotic things and other video clips of other, non-erotic
things, maybe slowly scrolling copies of text from The First Book of
the Chronicles, for example. They correlated the activity in
different parts of the subjects' brains with what the subjects were watching
on the erotiscope, according to how erotic the material was. According
to the video segments that I saw, the research team wasn't limited to only
men. There were also women present. I don't know what the women
were thinking but I did notice in one scene that one of them had what appeared
to be a leer on her face as she watched a test subject watching the erotiscope.
I probably just imagined it. I can be a real rascal. Of course,
rascal or not, that line of thought leads to a question. Why did
they even need an erotiscope? With all of those female researchers
readily available, they could have just but then the network censors
wouldn't have allowed the program to be shown. Darn. Anyway,
against all odds, the scientists obtained some most startling and unexpected
results. Here comes the interesting part. After duly objective
investigation, the scientists discovered that when the sexual arousal part
of a human brain is active, the rational intellect part of a human brain
tends to be out to lunch. Well, I swanny!
Let's consider this with the rational intellect part of our brains. How could such a result be unexpected? Do any of those researchers even have girlfriends? Have any of them ever had an affair? I don't know about the scientists but there've been times in my own long and checkered past when I couldn't think of any reason at all to not go ahead and avail myself of the comely wench. Later, I sometimes thought of reasons, but not until the festivities were over. If any of those scientists had ever been involved with a woman other than in some feminist, career-oriented, politically correct, sexual equality, just-one-of-the-guys kind of way, then he must have noticed that his brain turned off when his penis turned on. Isn't that exactly what the feminists like to say when they deride men as being primitive, grunting, Neanderthal, brutes? Don't they like to proclaim, with sneers of smug superiority on their faces, that men think with their penises? It isn't just the feminists who've made such observations. Even men have done so. Back while I was living on the farm, before the September 11 attacks happened and I stopped watching news programs, I was watching the NewsHour one evening. It was Friday, April 3, 1998. I know that because I heard a statement that was so remarkable that I wrote it down and dated it. The statement was made by historian Stephen Ambrose, who was a member of a panel on the program that evening. As I recall, the panel also included Michael Beschloss, Elizabeth Farnsworth, and two or three other people. During the discussion, Stephen Ambrose made a completely unexpected statement. You could see that it was unexpected because of the surprised reactions of the other panelists. Jim Lehrer chuckled in slight embarrassment and changed the subject. So, right there on the NewsHour, one of the most stodgy news programs in existence, in front of God and everybody, Stephen Ambrose said, "God created men with a penis and a brain and gave 'em only enough blood to run one at a time." I'll bet that both Stephen Ambrose and the network censor caught Hell after the program for that comment. Stephen Ambrose died on October 13, 2002 but the memory of him lives on. So hurray for Stephen Ambrose and hurray for me. We were both right. The people in the research project, both genders of them, are proving it with their little scientifically X-rated MRI flicks on their research erotiscope. I still wish that they'd just used the female researchers instead of the erotiscope, but then the network censors wouldn't have hey, maybe they did, and it was just censored. I can hope. Anyway, what they're proving ought not to be a surprise. Any For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net.
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man who's ever fallen under the compelling and
magical charm of a woman should know it without having to be told.
Women, of course, know it automatically. That is, in the presence
of a woman, a man's ability to think will be impaired. As the feminists
like to say, he'll think with his penis. It's the only point on which
the feminists were ever correct.
I'm old enough now that I can relax a little. I still chortle at the women on the television, and make extravagant suggestions, when I'm alone and can get away with it. I still watch women with as much enthusiasm as ever, although nowadays it's a lot simpler if I just watch. It's been about seven or eight years since the end of my most recent sexual relationship and I find that I'm not particularly motivated to seek another one. Some aspects of my situation are not as I'd prefer them to be but the lack of a female companion isn't high on my list of complaints. I'm doing OK. I'm getting a lot of work done. My tranquility has become very important to me. In retrospect, I can see that tranquility and sexual relationships are pretty much mutually exclusive conditions. Women are too motivated to control men and it causes a lot of stress. Maybe the monks were right after all, taking vows of celibacy. That does make things a lot simpler. Even so, even at the age of 64, even as well as I'm doing without a woman in my life, I'm still pretty sure that I don't have enough blood to run both of them at the same time, should the need ever again arise.
More About Documentaries Sam Aurelius Milam III What happened to the past tense? Consider this hypothetical statement from an imaginary documentary. "The swarm of ivory beaked humming birds arrives along the Bimini Road and sucks the sap out of every flower between East Clintwood and the little village of Hellifino." Why would the description of such an event be given in the present tense, or in whatever tense that is? Do the producers of documentaries think that such usage makes their documentaries sound more dramatic? I think that it sounds like the writers don't know how to use the English language. The narrator of such a documentary ought to say, "The swarm of ivory beaked humming birds arrived along the Bimini Road and sucked the sap out of every flower between East Clintwood and the little village of Hellifino." Past events ought to be described in the past tense. Stray Thoughts
Checking Out
I didn't make it up. I just heard it somewhere. editor
A White Man's Notes Sam Aurelius Milam III Remain Silent The secret to achieving a long and happy marriage is silence. Don't try to communicate. All that does is to enable her to use your own words against you, later. Also, try to avoid answering questions. For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net.
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Acknowledgments My thanks to the following: SantaClara Bob; Lady Jan the Voluptuous; my mother; Dewey and Betty; and Eric, of Ione, California. editor
Court Quotes From Humor in the Court and More Humor in the Court, by Mary Louise Gilman, editor of the National Shorthand Reporter. Forwarded by Don G.
Funny Questions and Answers Original Source Unknown. Forwarded by David, of Idaho Falls, Idaho
Funny Statements Original Source Unknown. Forwarded by David, of Idaho Falls, Idaho
Frontiersman Subscriptions and Back Issues Printed copies of this newsletter, either subscriptions or back issues, are available by application only. Cancellations If you don't want to keep receiving this newsletter, then return it unopened. When I receive it, I'll terminate your subscription. Reprint Policy Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this newsletter in its entirety or to reproduce material from it, provided that the reproduction is accurate and that proper credit is given. I do not have the authority to give permission to reprint material that I have reprinted from other sources. For that permission, you must go to the original source. I would appreciate receiving a courtesy copy of any document or publication in which you reprint my material. Submissions I solicit letters, articles, and cartoons for the newsletter, but I don't pay for them. Short items are more likely to be printed. I suggest that letters and articles be shorter than 500 words but that's flexible depending on space available and the content of the piece. Payment This newsletter isn't for sale. If you want to make a voluntary contribution, then I prefer cash or U.S. postage stamps. For checks or money orders, please inquire. For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net. The continued existence of the newsletter will depend, in part, on such contributions. I don't accept anything that requires me to provide ID to receive it. In case anybody's curious, I also accept gold, silver, platinum, etc. Sam Aurelius Milam III, editor
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