Look!  Up In The Sky!  It's a Bird!  It's a Plane!  It's Superperson!
by Sam Aurelius Milam III
One day while I was digging a hole in the ground (brawny, manly work!), and pondering the problems of life, I came upon a sudden vision of the final destiny of the feminist agenda.  It may be that the thought was triggered by the quantities of water involved in my excavation (I was working on the sewer).  In any case, I was pondering hurricanes.  It was in that meteorological context that I saw the light.
Consider hurricanes.  Prominent among feminist idiocy in recent years was the rampage against lady's names for hurricanes.  Eventually, the lovelies prevailed, and hurricanes now bear names of either gender.
It occurred to me, however, that we remain vulnerable to feminist idiocy.  The miracle is only that they haven't noticed.  Right now, they're probably too busy entrapping their male office-mates with provocative attire and flirtatious behavior, then suing them for sexual misconduct.  Eventually, however, they'll notice.  If we act now, maybe we can avoid the inevitable confrontation.
In keeping with their past moronic obsessions (chairperson, draftsperson, and so forth), it's obvious that feminists have no regard for homonyms.  (Man — a male human vs man — the species homo sapiens).  Maybe grammar isn't their strong suit.  Anyway, I believe it would be prudent of us, while they're preoccupied baiting and jailing incautious men, to further purify weather service terminology.  After all, if they objected to names of the feminine gender, they might resent what sounds like a pronoun of the feminine gender.  That is, what about hurricanes?  I suggest a new name:  themicanes.
Of course, even this won't be sufficient.  With feminists, nothing ever is.  Having forsaken the designation hurricane, and substituted the imminently more suitable themicane, we have again (in typical blundering male fashion) left ourselves vulnerable to henpecking, uh, fowlpecking.  For (sadly), it isn't possible to tell in advance which themicane will be a disaster, and which will be relatively innocuous.  This difficulty of prediction (is that why we originally called them hericanes?) leaves us vulnerable to a charge of sexual favoritism.  What if (Goddess forbid!) we should happen to use lady's names for the bad themicanes and men's names for the mild themicanes?  It's kind of random, but it could happen.  The selective perception of feminists being what it is, I'd say they'll perceive that it's happened, weather it does or not.  What to do???
Don't panic.  The very character of the new designation (themicane) suggests a solution.  We simply use dual names.  Thus we will talk of themicane Harry and Sally, themicane Napoleon and Josephine, or even (dare I?) themicane Sam and Reba.  You get the idea.  Surely, this elaborate concession would satisfy even the most rabid feminist.  Ha!  Even the least rabid feminist will quickly note the implicit sexist bigotry inherent in the scheme.  She will immediately leap to the conclusion that the terminology was devised by a man.  She will instantly recognize that its purpose is to perpetuate the insidious male domination of weather service terminology.  Consider!  Themicane Napoleon and Josephine, but not themicane Josephine and Napoleon.  Themicane Sam and Wynonna, but never themicane Wynonna and Sam.  Aghast, wild-eyed feminists will run amuck.  Using Playtext bras to sling burning dictionaries, they'll storm the local TV stations, while shrieking obscenities such as Men's Club, and Women Need Not Apply.
Enraged women will demand, as the only possible remedy, an end of the use of male names, demanding instead their obvious and Goddess given right of exclusive access to the terminology.  It will be necessary, indeed, it was inevitable from the beginning, that there will be only female names:  Themicane Ann, Themicane Barbara, Themicane Caroline, Themicane Dorothy, ....
Of course, with victory nearly complete, with total domination of weather service terminology within sight, feminists will exhibit one final burst of determination.  What of the hint of male influence in the designation them? Wouldn't they feel safer with something more female?  Finally, the issue will be settled once and for all, weather we like it or not.  The feminists will be appeased one last time.  We'll surrender the final point, release the last hold on our masculine world, and allow the ultimate change in the terminology.  There will no longer be themicanes.  There will never be a himicane.  There will only be hericanes.

Another Challenge - Listerine has joined the long list of products that can no longer be purchased in glass containers.  With a vast supply of silicon on this planet, a dwindling supply of petroleum, bulging land-fills, and a crying need for jobs for unskilled people, the idiots in charge continue to sell products in disposable plastic instead of in reusable glass.  I suggest:  1. Buy products in glass when you can. 2. When you can't buy in glass, don't put the empty plastic containers in your own trash.  Take them back to the store and put them in the store's trash.  If the store management objects, promise that you'll stop doing it just as soon as they start selling those products in glass containers.