Sam Aurelius Milam III
Difficult problems can have simple solutions. Sometimes, all that's needed is to set aside a few assumptions and do some original thinking.2
The so-called problem of counterfeit currency is a good example. The people in government don't have a clue what to do about it. Their best ideas are to make the currency as complex as possible, to make the regulations as onerous as possible, and to make the enforcement as draconian as possible. Beyond that, they don't have the foggiest notion what to do.3
Finding a solution to the so-called problem was easy. First, I set aside the assumption that a "real" Federal Reserve Note (FRN) is better than a so-called counterfeit FRN. In fact, a "real" FRN doesn't have any more actual value than a so-called counterfeit FRN. That set me upon the path of original thought regarding the so-called counterfeiting problem. Here's how to solve the so-called problem.
There's also a significant economic benefit. There wouldn't be any more problems about the value of the dollar. Counterfeiters would not print a dollar bill if it cost them more than a dollar to do so. Thus, the amount of currency in circulation would be automatically self-regulating. If they printed too many bills, then the number of bills would become excessive and the value of each bill would drop below one dollar. After that, they'd stop printing bills and the number of bills would decrease. That would cause the value of a one dollar bill to rise above one dollar, again making it profitable to print more bills. We'd always have approximately the correct number of bills.
One of the few disadvantages of my problem solution would accrue to the nitwits (or thugs, take your choice) in government who were previously involved in printing bills and opposing counterfeiting. Most of them would be out of a job, with the exception of those few who would run the Certified Standard Bill program. I don't actually count that as a disadvantage but I suppose that they would.
The only other disadvantage that comes to mind is that you might have to carry a big box of bills around with you. In the final analysis, that might also be an advantage since it would give you an incentive to use gold instead of all that paper. Even if it didn't, the exercise won't hurt you and it will make things a lot harder for pickpockets and cutpurses. So, this might actually be a problem solution that doesn't have any disadvantages at all. It might be a totally unmixed blessing.
Fiction by Jim Sullivan
The year is 2010. Faith-based government, as predicted after the second millennium began, has grown more pervasive every year over the past decade. At Washington DC, in the U.S. Capitol, hearings of the Government Protocol Select Subcommittee of the Federal Religious Policy Committee of the House of Representatives is underway.
The Subcommittee Chairman presiding is The Right Reverend Obadiah P. Rathstone, Representative of the Great and Good State of Texas (R-78th District). The witness testifying is Albert D. Hickenlooper, Jr., U.S. Commerce Department employee. It's his third day before this Congressional subcommittee. Similar questions have been fired at him from congressman after congressman.
A typical query, this one from Congressman Reverend Percy Cornwinkle of Oklahoma (R 15th District): "Can you tell us, Mr. Hickenlooper, just why it is that several congressmen in this chamber have witnessed, with their own eyes, you walking directly past, over, under, or around each and every set of 10 Commandment Tablets affixed to the various and sundry walls, floors, and ceilings of this capitol building, the Supreme Court building, the White House, and, indeed, your very own Cabinet facility without seeing you so much as bow, scrape, kowtow to, or fold your hands in a prayer-like manner in the required appearance of humble supplication, let alone perform the optional Roman genuflection to the holy site of this here respectful and Jesus-loving federal government?"
"Well, Reverend Congressman, my seeming irreverence has been accidental on my part, I assure you. It isn't my habit to forget the rules and regulations of this and of the other federal bodies. My own forgetfulness is to blame. You see, I am getting older, having served in this government since before there were protocols of a religious nature for federal employees, such as myself, that had to be followed and obeyed. Consequently, I sometimes just don't remember.
"I know that breaking these religious rules could be grounds for my dismissal and forfeiting my pension and health insurance. But I humbly ask that you please give me another chance. I realize that I'd be totally destitute if you fired me for this breech of religious conduct because no government agency would then be allowed to hire me. And that the same would be true for any civilian employer who gets government contracts or finances for any reason whatsoever. In short, I'd have no way to make a living."
"Well," said Subcommittee Chairman Reverend Congressman Rathstone, "you should have thought of that before you disgraced yourself over those 10 Commandment tablets that mean so much to me, to this government, and to this nation.
"The chair now recognizes the congressman from the wonderful and prosperous state of Mississippi, Congressman Deacon T. Bishop (R-15th District). Reverend Bishop."
"Thank you Mr. Chairman Congressman Reverend Rathstone. By the way, I thoroughly agreed with and enjoyed the sermon you preached last Sunday to the entire assembled U.S. House of Representatives. The world is surely coming to its conclusion for as every elected official in this body knows and attests to, these are the end times.
"Now, as to you, Mr. Hickenlooper and specifically to your disrespect for our religious governmental institutions, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. And don't forget, as we in this holy and sacred chamber know, this is not the first, nor the second, but the third time you've been charged with the same type of offenses. And you're a total disgrace, as the Chairman has so delicately pointed out, to this religious government establishment. But what's even worse, I'm getting reports from my staff, Pastor Green, my administrative assistant, and Father Fitzgerald, my legislative aide, that in your Commerce Department office cubicle, you have no 10 Commandment tablets posted on the walls or setting on your desk. That, sir, is blasphemy! So, would you explain why you've dared commit such a sin."
"Congressman Reverend Deacon, it's a fact that in my little cubicle I have not one religious icon. But I plan on getting one. It might be a 10 Commandments plaque or, perhaps, a St. Christopher Medal. But I just haven't had the
|time to go out and buy it. My work of making
sure that government contractors comply with all of federal government's
religious requirements causes me to be exceedingly busy. But I'll
make time to shop any day now. I promise you I will. Please
don't vote to take this job from me."
"It's irreligious federal employees, like you Mr. Hickenlooper, who make me sick. Now, I can also report that our domestic investigative team, headed up by Monsignor SBI Agent Adam Eden, has had its surveillance team following you around and watching all your activities. His report states that you have never been seen in prayer or been observed reading the Bible, at home or in the public library. Could this astounding news be factual?"
"Ah, ah, maybe they just haven't seen me pray or read from the good book in the privacy of my home or elsewhere."
"That's not the situation here. As you know, congress, in its wisdom and commitment to the Truth and the Light, gave the SBI the authority in cases like yours to place secret audio recorders and visual cameras in a suspect's residence and other places frequented. And so this SBI report includes information obtained from your personal location and from other facilities you visit. No — I repeat — no audio or visual evidence from inside your home or anywhere else, according to the report, was found to prove that you ever prayed or read from the Bible, which, as you very well know is a requirement of federal government employment. What do you say to that, heathen?"
"Okay, I'm guilty. But I have a good excuse: I'm not a true believer! There, I've said it. You can do with me what you will. But I hope you'll let me keep working until my retirement just a year from now. In the meantime, maybe you could mercifully let me off these charges for good behavior and for not missing more than two or three days of work a year for illness. Oh, and how about if I promise to go to a Bible reading class every Tuesday at the Attorney General's office?"
"I don't think you deserve another chance, Mr. Hickenlooper. But I'll leave it up to our Chairman, Reverend Rathstone."
Addressing the assembled Congressmen Reverends in the Subcommittee, The Chairman asked for a voice vote on whether Mr. Hickenlooper should be forgiven his trespasses. All eleven elected officials yelled out 'Aye.' No 'Noes' were intoned.
"Mr. Hickenlooper. You are exonerated once again. Now go and sin no more. But the next time I see you, you had better be reading Ezekiel or something similar if you want to keep your job 'til retirement."
"Thank you, Mr. Chairman Reverend Rathstone." And with that remark, Mr. Hickenlooper stood, walked over in front of the Chairman, bowed deeply, made the sign of the cross, and then did the required genuflection to the public authority."
A White Man's Notes
Sam Aurelius Milam III
Presuming that there are any rights at all — My rights are not less important than those of handicapped people. My rights are not less important than those of women. My rights are not less important than those of homosexuals. My rights are not less important than those of old people. My rights are not less important than those of foreigners. My rights are not less important than those of minors. My rights are not less important than those of Christians. My rights are not less important than those of prisoners. My rights are not less important than those of sick people. My rights are not less important than those of fetuses. My rights are not less important than those of farmers. My rights are not less important than those of anti-abortionists. My rights are not less important than those of conservationists. My rights are not less important than those of government thugs. My rights are not less important than those of consumers' advocates. My rights are not less important than those of human rights activists. My rights are way more important than the so-called rights of animals.
Sam Aurelius Milam III
Intellectual Impropriety — Intellectual property is a contradiction in terms. Otherwise, thinking would be a copyright violation.
No Difference — What difference does it make if the bread lands butter side down? I'm not going to eat it after it's been on the floor, whichever way it lands.
Some Kind of Something or Other — Why do the media stooges keep talking about democratic elections? Is there a different kind?
Innocent Victims — Being defenseless isn't a virtue. It's a failure.
Letters to the Editor
There is a way to help "JEFFREY" & all the AOL victims! 1. Don't cancel credit cards! 2. Write up an affidavit w/statements saying one "discontinued service" on X date and the "charges are fraud. 3. Have it notarized — & include copies of phone bill (if necessary) & send it to credit card co! THEY will have to "put the funds back into your acct and They will have to file for recovery from AOL (NOT you!) NetZero & PeoplePC's lawyers can also "get involved"!
— an inmate
HR 1528 has already passed through one committee, and appears likely to pass through another and come to the floor for a vote. This bill, if passed, will force you to inform on your neighbors if you have any knowledge of drug related activity. We're not making this up. First it was illegal to deal drugs, then use them, and then to be caught with them. Now, Congressman James Sensenbrenner wants to make it the law that if you do not inform on your neighbors you can be sentenced to prison for a mandatory two years!
This kind of a system — neighbors informing on neighbors — was a key feature of past totalitarian regimes.
— from http://www.downsizedc.org/index.shtml
forwarded by Sir John the Generous
With all the "newsmedia time" spent on the Senatorial process of confirming or filibustering the nominees for judgeships, and all the brainwashing (tell a lie often enough and loud enough — the masses will believe it as TRUTH), done by the pundits & news anchors regarding the Conservative or Liberal bias of the Judges, and as to their (the Judges) spotless records, and "impeccable" positions, there is one question glaringly absent from all the debates: "When did Article 1, Sec. 10 of the Constitution for the United States of America get repealed?"
Every Judge, Every Legislator, Every Executive Officer, IS AN ABSOLUTE HYPOCRITE! How can Each and Every one of them "swear" (Oath of Office) to uphold the Constitution, and then at that same moment and after, violate the above cited provision of that Constitution? And, ALL you VOTERS out there deserve each and every Law, Statute, Rule, Regulation, Ordinance, Policy, TREATY, etc., ever forced down your throats: because every time you vote, you (ignorantly?) voluntarily accept your STATUS as U.S. SLAVE on the D.C. Plantation! (Slaves have NO RIGHTS!) So quit calling this area of Planet Earth "the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave" and start acknowledging it IS "The Land of the Fee, and the Home of the Slave!"4
When it comes to this (Memorial) day, I give a silent thanks to those Revolutionary War dead, and the Confederate soldiers who fought against the oppression of the North in the War between the states, yet have No sympathy for those deceived in every "War" since. I still have your "Pledge of Deliverance"5 displayed on My wall, and will pass it framed to my son soon.
— an inmate
Please bear with me a bit longer; And do keep the Frontiersman coming. I not only (for the most part) like what you have to say but, also, the way in which you say it.
My finances have been in horrible shape of late. I may, however, begin to see a little daylight after July 1; And be in a position to make a small donation from time to time.
— Victor; Tonopah, Arizona
"... extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue!"
— Barry Goldwater, July 16, 1964
I broke a statue once in a museum and they got real upset so I guess broke art is a bad thing.
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— Sam Aurelius Milam III, editor