|
|
|
CET
There are various cable channels that I don't watch. Mostly, I don't watch them because they don't show anything that I want to see. However, I refuse to watch BET as a matter of principle. It was the Negroes who insisted that separate-but-equal was an unacceptable policy. They inflexibly demanded total desegregation, at whatever cost. Now, they have Black Entertainment Television. So, let's start a network and call it Caucasian Entertainment Television, CET. Equality works in both directions or it isn't equality. Right? CET can be tailored for young white audiences. What do you think would happen? The owners of the network would be denounced as racist pigs. The network would be hounded out of existence by shrieking protesters, carrying big signs and marching back and fourth, blocking traffic. I don't care if the blacks have black only situations but I do care about hypocrisy. If the blacks can have BET, the Congressional Black Caucus, black colleges and scholarships, and so forth ad infinitum then they shouldn't have complained about racial segregation. Letter to the Editor
Stray Thoughts
For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net.
|
Thank You
Original Source Unknown. Forwarded by Marilyn B. I just want to thank all my friends and loved ones for the educational emails over the past year. Because of your warnings I now live in a zip-lock plastic bag with clean oxygen piped in after passing through 18 filters that are replaced each hour. Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel. I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the channels. I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed. I can't enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces. I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking your nose. Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats and high fructose corn syrup I have consumed over the years. I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom. I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that I seal. Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I can no longer buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl into my back seat while I'm pumping the gas. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make those products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave oven because it causes cancer. And thanks for letting me know that I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave oven anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army. I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan. I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman-Marcus since I now have their recipe. And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up a five dollar bill dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a rapist waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician. Have a great day! Please use the enclosed envelope to send a contribution. I prefer cash. For checks or money orders, please inquire. For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net.
|
Acknowledgments My thanks to the following: SantaClara Bob; Lady Jan the Voluptuous; my mother; and Dewey and Betty. editor
Definitions Original Source Unknown. Forwarded by Don G.
Differences Between Men and Women Original Source Unknown. Forwarded by Don G.
Frontiersman Subscriptions and Back Issues Printed copies of this newsletter, either subscriptions or back issues, are available by application only. Cancellations If you don't want to keep receiving this newsletter, then print REFUSED, RETURN TO SENDER above your name and address and return the newsletter. When I receive it, I'll terminate your subscription. You can also cancel by letter, e-mail, carrier pigeon, or any other method that gets the message to me. Reprint Policy Permission is hereby granted to reproduce this newsletter in its entirety or to reproduce material from it, provided that the reproduction is accurate and that proper credit is given. Please note that I do not have the authority to give permission to reprint material that I have reprinted from other sources. For that permission, you must go to the original source. I would appreciate receiving a courtesy copy of any document or publication in which you reprint my material. Submissions I solicit letters, articles, and cartoons for the newsletter, but I don't pay for them. Short items are more likely to be printed. I suggest that letters and articles be shorter than 500 words but that's flexible depending on space available and the content of the piece. I give credit for all items printed unless the author specifies otherwise. Payment This newsletter isn't for sale. If you care to make a voluntary contribution, then I prefer cash, prepaid telephone cards, or U.S. postage stamps. For checks or money orders please inquire. For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net. The continued existence of the newsletter will depend, in part, on such contributions. I don't accept anything that requires me to provide ID to receive it. In case anybody's curious, I also accept gold, silver, platinum, etc. Sam Aurelius Milam III, editor
For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.my3website.net.
|
|
|