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Eagle 3
Frontiersman, February 2016
Rookie Wine Sweep
Sticky, of San Diego, California
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageA while back, I had the day off work.  With absolutely nothing to do, I slept through breakfast and into the morning, a rare treat.  I'm guessing, but I'd say it was about 9:30 A.M. when a cop keyed my door, telling me to step out.  Though my brain was still in a fog, it was still a nice wake-up call.  Otherwise, I probably would've slept until noon.  Exiting, I heard one cop instructing the other to look for extra laundry and obvious contraband.  It sounded like they wanted me to hear this.  They were in my cell all of two minutes.  I suppose it pays to keep the house tidy and clean.  Something tells me they were not looking for laundry.  There were no clothes bins nearby, nor piles of confiscated clothing outside other cells.  This was an intelligence gathering mission.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageThis kind of thing happens every once in a while.  This is a training facility for cops fresh out of the academy.  It could be worse.  Now and again the Goon Squad (Investigative Service Unit, ISU) shows up with their crime kit briefcase & dogs, in search of drugs, cell phones, weapons, etc.  Usually, when they arrive, there is nothing random about it.  The Gooners hit a certain house knowing exactly what or who they're after.  This is prison, after all, and there is no shortage of rats, no matter where you go.  When Squad leaves an inmate's house it looks like Beirut in the aftermath of a Marine air strike.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageSkip forward to Super Bowl LI.  That morning our entire building was slammed down tight as we awaited breakfast release.  At one point the Sounder swarmed our tier, about 20-deep, pulling inmates out cell-by-cell, instructing them to wait in the dayroom.  Gee, what kind of fresh hell is this?  Through the walls, I could hear toilets flushing, everywhere.  You'd think they'd have shut off the water before the raid.  As I looked around I could tell these were not Squad cops.  There were no special briefcases, no K-9's, no blacked out insignias.  Nope, in fact, all of these uniforms were too new;  the deeper green shade of a rookie.  It became obvious to me, judging by the particular day, that this was a "Wine Sweep."
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageJust as I thought, three cops (one old dog and two trainees) were in and out of my house in all of 1 1/2 minutes.  As they entered my neighbor's cell, old dog cleared my cell.  Looking around, on my way back to the hovel, I noticed some peer's cells being torn up with gusto.  Some cops are more thorough than others but, in all fairness, there was no wine in ours.  Call me lame, but this guy is going home in three years!
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageSurprisingly, my cell looked pretty much like how we left it.  Plastic storage bins were strewn about but, otherwise, no mess.  Yup, wine search.  No bags full of cloudy liquid or suspicious odors, so they didn't visit long.  In hindsight, I think the Laundry Sweep was a ruse.  They were trying to catch people slippin'.  Give dudes a false sense of security.  The trainees come through, looking for batches being started, all the while knowing they'd be back in a couple days to catch people straining their Apple Jack, thinking the coast is clear.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageNothing changed the festivities for me and my cellie.  Our half-time vittles were home made burritos with lots of heat, nacho chips, and ice cold soda's from the swamp cooler.  Yup, we fashioned a swamp cooler.  I just wish the commercials had been better this year.  Only one single good one, an incognito deer and two dimwitted hunters.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageGo Brady!
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageGod Bless.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageInfinity Symbol

Reflections of Themselves
Sam Aurelius Milam III
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageOn a blurb on the TV, some idiot declared, "The only thing we hate is hate!"  I didn't notice the name of his group but, according to him, they oppose hatred and simultaneously hate it.  They must hate themselves for hating something, when they oppose hatred.  It sounds like a good example of Orwell's doublethink, except that there doesn't seem to be any actual thinking involved.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageGun


July 2017Frontiersman,0c/o 4984 Peach Mountain Drive, Gainesville, Georgia  30507
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Letters to the Editor
Hi, Sam,
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageGreetings to ya from Arkansas!  I don't know if any of your old timer Frontiersmen can still remember that many years ago when a Cherokee Indian died, or when one of their dogs died, their family members would go to the woods to search for a young healthy dogwood tree, and they would dig it up, and then they would dig a hole to bury the body, and then directly above the grave, they would plant the dogwood tree.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageYou see it was the Cherokee's belief that the dogwood's roots would be nourished by the dead body, and then the body's spirit would live within the living tree.  But these days, all human bodies are buried in coffins in a cemetery, and it's against the cemetery rules to plant any tree above a grave site.  But if your beloved pet dies, you could buy a young fruit tree such as an apple, peach, or plum, and then dig a hole on your own property or in the woods, and bury your pet and plant the fruit tree directly above its grave, and the roots of that tree will absorb the nutrients from the decaying pet's body, so now your pet's spirit is within this living tree, and when your tree bears its fruit, and you eat of that fruit, then you and your pet's spirit are together again as one, and this tree will continue to grow, and this tree will be your pet's grave marker for many years.
—Howie
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15x5 Page Background GIF ImageIt's interesting how similar behaviors can be so different in principle.  The behavior that you attribute to the Cherokees was harmless.  During the French colonial occupation in Southeast Asia, Vietnamese slaves on Michelin plantations, who died from starvation or overwork, were buried under the rubber tree as fertilizer.  So far as I can tell, slavery, and other such abusive behavior, seems to have been more the rule than the exception, throughout the known history of human society.  I don't see any reason to suppose that future human societies will be any more humane (strange word) than past human societies have been.  In my writing, I refer to human society rather than to human civilization because I don't see much evidence to convince me that human civilization is anything more than a contradiction in terms.
—editor
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To Whom it May Concern:
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageHello & good day, I saw one of your newsletters from a friend, & got your address.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageWill you please add me to your mailing list to get your monthly Frontiersman newsletter?  As I was very interested in everything that I did read.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageLooking forward to getting these to read & share with some other's also....
—a prisoner
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Dear Sam:
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageI recently wrote a letter to the editor of the San Jose Mercury News.  They didn't print it, and I'm glad that they didn't, because I made a big mistake in the text.  I said that government has a duty to protect people.  I was thinking of the idea that the government's moral right to use force is really the citizen's delegated right of self-defense.  However, if it's accepted that the government has a duty to protect people, then that gives it the right to do almost anything in the name of "protection".
—Sir Donald
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15x5 Page Background GIF ImageAccording to the propaganda, the government can exercise only powers that were delegated to it by the people.  Logically, the people can delegate only powers that they have themselves.  If they don't have a power, then they can't delegate that power to the government.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageThe government exercises the power of capital punishment.  If you accept the premises, above, then people must have a legitimate power to kill one another, or capital punishment is an illegitimate power of the government.
—editor
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Dear Mr. Milam,
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageThank you for dignifying Ma$tering Word$, Not Deed$, [June, page 1] and most of all tearing down "Potemkin villages."
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageYour fodder for thought;  Penalty for Early Withdrawal [June, page 2], and Rest in Peace [June, page 2], well define our Orwellian existence.  The opus of every shrine to penal authority is:  do not question authority.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageBeing an old man dying in one of these penal shrines, I'll hold on to Dylan Thomas' words "Do not go gentle into that good night."  I'm not government livestock, I'm a human being!
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageUntil people realize The Great Oz hides behind the curtain for a reason, and Potemkin villages hide reality, you'll never be able to cut yourself from the herd of human livestock.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageKeep pulling those curtains back, and know the light of reality makes cockroaches nervous.  I remain,
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageIn admiration and appreciation,
—Robert H. Outman
Prisoner P-79939
Dear Sam,
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageWhat a joy it was to read Robert Outman's
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true and accurate disclosure of the Calif. Penal System [Ma$tering Word$, Not Deed$, June, page 1], plus your reference to 2 other fine publications.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageProposition 57, passed Nov. 8, 2016, was written to open the doors to thousands of inmates who continue to serve unreasonable and undeserved terms, effective Nov. 9, 2016.  However, CDCR has decided that it has the power to sort out previously undesignated classes of prisoners and to "give" them various assorted discounts according to their types and durations of offenses, to commence at future dates.  Many lawsuits are being filed against CDCR for their revision of Prop. 57 and their deliberate stalling.  Some suits are already at the Calif. Supreme Court level.  Obviously, by stalling as long as possible, CDCR gets to keep the inmate count as high as possible and as long as possible.  They haven't issued their final regulations yet so it's remotely possible that public pressure could bend their will.  For now, though, Robert Outman's world is 100% current and valid.
—James, of Ione, California
Breakfast Baloney
Sam Aurelius Milam III
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageOver the years, I've seen various advertisements about breakfast food.  The Jimmy Dean clouds and planets, and the cannibalistic, talking shredded wheat characters come to mind.  Whatever the product, I've noticed the recurring warnings about the dangers of skipping breakfast, which is touted as the most important meal of the day.  Even lacking any other fault, the advertisements have a problem with the definition, which makes me wonder.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageWhat's the problem with the definition?  Breakfast is the first meal of the day.  The time of day when it's eaten is irrelevant.  Even if it isn't eaten until sometime in the evening, it's still breakfast.  The only possible way to skip breakfast is by not eating anything at all, for the entire day.  That really makes me wonder.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageI haven't noticed any concern about the risks of "skipping breakfast" on the part of companies that sell clothes or pickup trucks or houses or anything else.  Such concerns appear to be entirely limited to the companies that sell breakfast food.  Call me skeptical or even cynical but maybe the breakfast food companies don't really care about the harm to their customers that's allegedly caused by "skipping breakfast".  Maybe their warnings are intended only to intimidate people into buying their products.  It sure makes me wonder.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageI don't usually eat breakfast until at least late in the morning.  Sometimes, I don't eat it until sometime during the afternoon.  I've been getting away with such cavalier disregard for my health for many years.  So far as I can tell, it hasn't caused me any harm.  Thus, the observed data, at least in my own case, appear to contradict the alleged concerns expressed by the companies that sell breakfast foods.  Since their statements appear to be at odds with the observed data, and seem to suggest an ulterior motive, it ought to make everybody wonder.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageGun
Amended But Not Ended
Sam Aurelius Milam III
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageThe Thirteenth Amendment prohibited slavery and involuntary servitude, except as punishment for crimes.  Thus people, but not prisons, were denied the use of slave labor.  The Fourteenth Amendment established the jurisdiction of the United States over citizens.  The dictionaries tell us that jurisdiction means power and control.  So, the United States has power and control over its citizens.  Power and control enable the use, or at least the possibility, of slavery and involuntary servitude, which means that it's necessary for citizenship to be voluntary.  Otherwise, there isn't any difference between citizenship and slavery.  Citizenship might be voluntary in theory but, in practice, it's effectively mandatory.  Thus, citizenship isn't much different from slavery.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageGun

Bad News, Worse News
As Retold by Sam Aurelius Milam III
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageAn outpatient received a telephone call from his doctor's receptionist.
15x5 Page Background GIF Image"I have bad news and worse news." she said.
15x5 Page Background GIF Image"What's the bad news?" asked the patient, with a slight quiver in his voice.
15x5 Page Background GIF Image"We have a new diagnosis."
15x5 Page Background GIF Image"That's the bad news?"
15x5 Page Background GIF Image"Not exactly," replied the receptionist.
15x5 Page Background GIF Image"Okay, what's the bad news?"
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageThe receptionist hesitated and then said, "According to our new test results, you have only 24 hours remaining to live."
15x5 Page Background GIF Image"What!?!  That's the bad news?  What could be worse than that?!?"
15x5 Page Background GIF Image"I forgot to call you yesterday."10x5 Page Background GIF ImageInfinity Symbol


July 2017Frontiersman,0c/o 4984 Peach Mountain Drive, Gainesville, Georgia  30507
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Frontiersman
c/o 4984 Peach Mountain Drive
Gainesville, Georgia  30507
 
 
 
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageIndian build little fire.  Keep warm by sittin' close.  White man build big fire.  Keep warm by carryin' wood.
—Sam Aurelius Milam, Jr.
 from Another Compendium of
Wit and Wisdom
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Acknowledgments
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageMy thanks to the following:  SantaClara Bob;  Betty;  Sir Donald the Elusive;  James, of Ione, California;  Robert, of San Diego, California;  and Eric, of Ione, California.
— editor
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Websites
15x5 Page Background GIF Imagehttp://frontiersman.org.uk/
15x5 Page Background GIF Imagehttp://moonlight-flea-market.com/
15x5 Page Background GIF Imagehttp://pharos.org.uk/
15x5 Page Background GIF Imagehttp://sam-aurelius-milam-iii.org.uk/
15x5 Page Background GIF Imagehttp://sovereign-library.org.uk/10x5 Page Background GIF ImageGun

Blonde Jokes
Original Source Unknown.  Forwarded by Don G.
Q:15x5 Page Background GIF ImageWhat did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A:15x5 Page Background GIF ImageSpot.
Q:15x5 Page Background GIF ImageHow did the blonde burn her nose?
A:15x5 Page Background GIF ImageBobbing for french fries.10x5 Page Background GIF ImageInfinity Symbol

Claims About the 1500s
Original Source Unknown.  Forwarded by Don G.  I haven't tried to verify any of these claims.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageMost people got married in May or June because they took their yearly bath in May.  By June, they were starting to develop an odor, so June brides carried bouquets of flowers to hide it.  That's the origin of the custom of carrying a bouquet of flowers when getting married.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageHouses had thatched roofs, consisting of thick straw piled high.  Animals used the thatch as a place to stay warm.  When it rained, the roof became slick and, sometimes, the animals would slip and fall off of the roof.  That's the origin of the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."10x5 Page Background GIF ImageInfinity Symbol


Frontiersman
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageAvailability — Assuming the availability of sufficient funds, subscriptions to this newsletter in print, copies of past issues in print, and copies of the website on CDs are available upon request.  Funding for this newsletter is from sources over which I don't have any control, so it might become necessary for me to terminate these offers or to cancel one or more subscriptions at any time, without notice.  All past issues are presently available at the address shown below.  Contributions are welcome.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageCancellations — If you don't want to keep receiving printed copies of this newsletter, then return your copy unopened.  When I receive it, I'll terminate your subscription.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageReprint Policy — Permission is hereby given to reproduce this newsletter in its entirety or to reproduce material from it, provided that the reproduction is accurate and that proper credit is given.  I do not have the authority to give permission to reprint material that I have reprinted from other sources.  For that permission, you must apply to the original source.  I would appreciate receiving a courtesy copy of any document or publication in which you reprint my material.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImageSubmissions — I consider letters, articles, and cartoons for the newsletter, but I don't pay for them.  Short items are more likely to be printed.  I suggest that letters and articles be shorter than 500 words but that's flexible depending on space available and the content of the piece.
15x5 Page Background GIF ImagePayment — This newsletter isn't for sale.  If you want to make a voluntary contribution, then I prefer cash or U.S. postage stamps.  For checks or money orders, please inquire.  For PayPal payments, use editor@frontiersman.org.uk.  In case anybody's curious, I also accept gold, silver, platinum, etc.  I don't accept anything that requires me to provide ID to receive it.
— Sam Aurelius Milam III, editor

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