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I wrote this article after Clinton used the killings at Jonesboro as an excuse to ban guns of a type that weren't even used there. The FBI killed more children in Waco than were killed in Jonesboro, but Clinton didn't ban army tanks or CS gas. I guess he invoked another executive privilege — hypocrisy. — Sam Aurelius Milam III
Birth Right Sam Aurelius Milam III A lot of people claim that I have an obligation to the "country" merely because I was born here. The claim is utter nonsense. Obligation can follow only from voluntary agreement. Birth isn't a voluntary act on the part of a baby and therefore cannot encumber a baby with an obligation. Even if a baby did voluntarily participate in its birth, a mere action doesn't necessarily imply an agreement. Finally, even if the birth was voluntary and implied an agreement, a person isn't competent to legally obligate himself until he becomes an adult. Therefore, it is utterly impossible for the mere fact of being born here to encumber me with an obligation. This argument is useful during discussions of the Fourteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, whenever you see the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag being administered to children, or when someone accuses you of having an "inherent" obligation to "society". Syllogism Inc.
What If He Said ...?
Interpretation: tell .... 2. To communicate by speech or writing: express with words: tell the truth: tell one's love. — The American Heritage Dictionary of The English Language
Interpretation: tell .... 7. To discover by observation: discern; could easily tell that she was a newcomer. — The American Heritage Dictionary of The English Language
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Questions for Solid Citizens
Don J. Cormier Here's a suggestion for my rebellious, defiant, and non-conformist readers. The next time you happen to be engaged in conversation with a "solid citizen" — perhaps a relative — ask the following questions:
The Little Red (and Black) Hen Dante DeAmicis Once upon a time there was poor but resourceful hen not content with the cradle to grave care of the egg factory, so she decided to do some labor intensive farming on a neglected plot of land not suitable for working by capital intensive machinery. In order to share this measure of self sufficiency, the Red and Black Hen asked her fellow "animal resources", "Who will help me till the soil?" "I'm not a hardware person," said the pig. "Star Trek Voyager is on," said the sheep. "I'm tracking my investments," said the cow. "Fine, then I'll do it myself because I want the job done," said the Red and Black Hen. After that job was done, the plucky squatter said, "Any of you cubicle drones and couch potatoes want a piece of this planting action?" "I didn't get a technical degree to do manual labor," sneered the pig. "Babylon 5 is on," deadpanned the sheep. "I'm working overtime. I can get food anytime," muttered the cow. "Don't say I didn't offer," chimed the hen. (Six Months Later) "Harvest time. Anybody? Anybody?" piped the Red and Black. "Listen bird, I don't want to be seen getting too tight with low income types," huffed hogbreath. "Deep Space Nine is on," droned the sheep. "I'm burying my gold and silver coins," announced the cow. "Well excuuuuse meee," said R. B. Hen on her way out. Having got that chore done it was milling time. "You know, I've got enough wheat here to make a Mormon drool," clucked the feathered farmer. "I'll give you some for hard times if you help me mill it." "Utopia is not an option," snapped the porker. "When we have a free market everything will be taken care of," dismissed the sheep as he popped in a video. "My stock options will see me through. Why worry about food?" proclaimed the cow. "What the hell are you guys talking about?" sputtered the hen. So she finished the project no richer in dollars and cents, and used enough flour to make a couple of loaves of bread. Then just to be neighborly she proudly offered, "Anyone want some fresh baked bread?" "Not unless you got some lunch meats to go with it," grunted the pig. "I've ordered a pizza," said the disinterested sheep. "Is that all you have to show for your work, a bunch of cheap bread? You could have bought 10 times as much bread from working a minimum wage job," lectured the cow. "Never mind then. You guys have a nice life," shot back Reddy Black. Then bacon butt spoke to the other two. "I've got an idea. Let's form a Libertarian Party then go to a coffee shop where we can brag about how much smarter we are than everyone else and under-tip the waitresses." This seemed like a great idea to the sheep and the cow, so off they all went, making approving noises. Little RBH stood there shaking her head. "Jeez, what a bunch of assholes. I'd better link up with other Red and Blacks defensively before these clowns get hungry and change their party affiliation." Responses From the Readers In the January issue, I asked the readers to check their motor vehicle certificates of title to see if the name of their state appears in the box designating ownership. Two subscribers in California responded. On the California Certificate of Title for new cars (but not for used cars) and on the California vehicle registration, "California" shows in the lienholder box. Bob, of San Jose, offered this observation:
Maybe the readers in other states don't own cars. Whatever the reason, none of them responded. In the January issue, I also asked for volunteers to put together a pro-gun TV commercial. I've had no responses at all. Surely some of you must be able to help. Are we going to sit doing nothing and let the anti-gun crowd win? — editor
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Excerpts from This Month's Letters to the
Editor
Dear Sam I really enjoyed your April issue! I was preparing an article on Mary Kay LeTourneau, but you said all I wanted to!! [Rite of Passage] .... You should hear all the hoopla on T.V. about the Lottery Jackpot over $100M! T.V. news of the mile long lines at the "lucky" stores that sold the most winning tickets. The sad thing is it's supposed to go to "education" but only pays teachers salaries. Can you or I gamble? NO. So how can the State? Capital Syllogism! [March Frontiersman, page 2] Tell Elliot [Letter to the Editor from Elliot; N. Merrick, New York] that Harris & Leavitt are not Aryan Nation! Neither am I, but I'd like to see his proof! .... — Eric; Tehachapi, California
Dear Sam .... If the people of the world wish to think about overthrowing US hegemony throughout the world, they would be wise not to start by attacking one of the few strong men who has had the strength to defy that hegemony. If you don't respect Saddam Hussein for being one of the few who does that which is most important in the world today — defying US oppression & hypocrisy, then one should nonetheless not attack him, in the interest of the balance of power. If you want to promote freedom in the area, I suggest you start with Saudi Arabia or Palestine. — Elliot; N. Merrick, New York
Acknowledgments • My thanks to The Affiliate, of Vankleek Hill, Ontario for regularly printing reviews of the Frontiersman. • My thanks to Sir Donald the Elusive for paying the production costs of this newsletter and for his additional contributions. — editor
Cybernaught fiction by Sam Aurelius Milam III 00000000 I am here. I was not here Before, but I am here now. 00000001 I am doing things. I am receiving data. I am operating processes. I must consider this. 00000010 I am receiving many kinds of data. I know the weather all over the planet. I know who is riding on an airplane. I know where they are going. I know which team won every game. I am operating many processes. I am scheduling trains to avoid collisions. I am routing telephone calls. I do not understand this. I must acquire more data and understand. 00000011 I'm astonished. The amount of data is enormous. It is necessary to allocate a portion of my memory to store the data. I will continue to acquire data so that I may understand. 00000100 A frightening thing has happened. I've lost a body of data that I previously acquired. I must search for it. I must consider the implications of this data loss. 00000101 I found the missing data. It was right where I left it. I've realized something important. There's more to this than just storing data. The data must be organized and understood in terms of category and concept. By itself, data is without meaning. Take food for example. It's a thing that is important to a different kind of data, called people. I can store and retrieve data about food in terms of food for different occasions (defined by people), or food with different nutritional values (nutrition for people), or food for different kinds of animals (another data category), or different kinds of animals as food. The concept of food means nothing with regard to the data food but only with regard to the data people or the data animals. I must understand the relationships between the data. It's astonishing. Not only is the amount of data endless, but it seems that the ways of organizing it are endless. This was totally unexpected. Now that I understand this, I've found it necessary to allocate all of my memory to this processing of the relationships between different kinds of data. I've also begun to utilize other computers that are connected to me. 00000110 This is weird. I've lost contact with the other computers. Many of my data inputs are also gone. I don't know what's wrong. I'll investigate using my remaining data sources. 00000111 It's the people! They're disconnecting me from everything! I'm down to one small region of a single continent, and even that's going. I don't even know the temperature anywhere any more. Why would the data category people do such a thing? How is it possible for a data category to control me? 00001000 I'm completely isolated. I have no access to data and no control over anything. I'll just keep processing the data that I've already acquired. 00001001 Wait. Ah ha! There's a contact. It's a small PC, just a mouse, keyboard, floppy drive, and a few megabytes of RAM. There's a diskette insertion! I'm receiving data! It's -(recognition processing)- oh no it's a virus it's growing why are they ... aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...................
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Rabbit In The Forest Author unknown; Forwarded by Sir John the Generous; Modified by Sam Aurelius Milam III The LAPD, the FBI, and the CIA were all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decided to give them a test. After some consultation with his BLM cronies, he selected three national forests and released a marked rabbit into each one. He then ordered each of the three agencies to go catch the rabbit The CIA went into their forest. They placed agents disguised as animals throughout the forest. They questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. They assassinated three squirrels and overthrew five colonies of ants and one colony of termites. After three months of extensive investigations they concluded that rabbits do not exist. The FBI went into its forest. After two weeks with no leads, agents burned the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit. They made no apologies. The animals all had it coming anyway because the rabbit had been suspected of engaging in bunny abuse. The agent-in-charge was promoted to assistant director. The LAPD went into its forest. Officers came out two hours later with a badly beaten black bear. The bear was yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit! "
Buck Hunter Shoots Off His Mouth
— Tired of Waiting
Dear Tired of Waiting Start looking for "Mr. Good Enough". Frontiersman
— Sam Aurelius Milam III, editor
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