that express a genuine interest in another person,
regardless of what they believe or claim.
Many
people think all Christians are bullies. The M.O. of most Christian
evangelism involves at least one of two things: get people to accept
Jesus and become part of our church. So this presumes that wherever
that person is in their lives, what they need is to be Christian.
This at worst comes across as spiritual bullying. The subtext is
"you aren't right how you are; you need to be more like me to be
O.K." And if someone turned the tables on a Christian and implied
he/she had to be like them or else (fill in the blank), how would that
Christian feel?
Christians
haven't earned the right. The rules of social behavior generally
dictate that Christians have to earn someone's trust by caring about them
first, investing time in them and making themselves vulnerable to them
before they have any reason to trust. And Christians sometimes confuse
sharing their testimony with actual vulnerability. Regurgitating
a rehearsed script about how Jesus came into their lives is not vulnerable.
It's coercive, namely because Christians risk nothing on their own part,
and put all of the pressure and expectation on the other person to change.
The only other context in which this is expected in the Christian culture
is in high pressure sales, which is what most people equate Christian evangelism
with.
People
don't see the difference. Too often, people can't tell the difference
between how Christians are and anyone else. Often times as you suggest,
Christians are perceived (rightly or not) as brash, opinionated and judgmental.
And like it or not, these individuals are lumped in with any negative stereotype
people have of Christians; it's then on other Christians (like me)
to reveal a different kind of Christianity. As noted above, that
takes time, personal risk and vulnerability. The old mantra of "show,
don't tell" is the best remedy in this case. And it might take more
than buying someone a cup of coffee or holding the door for them.
So
what do Christians do if the old stand-by form of evangelism doesn't work,
or at least does more harm than good (as it certainly has in your case,
Sam)? There are two options as I see it. One is called servant
evangelism which, in my eyes, is far more like the evangelism Jesus did
for most people (save for a handful of his inner circle of disciples).
He immersed himself in a local community, even went out of his way to cross
social boundaries. He noticed what people needed and he responded.
Then he encouraged people to go out, to live lives with purpose, focused
on doing the same for others. Simple, but far from easy.
Second,
if Christians want more of a how-to model, look no further than twelve-step.
With nearly no budget, no marketing, and no leadership, twelve-step groups
continue to grow and radically change lives all over the world. Part
of this success is because of how they govern themselves. The focus
is on personal story, mutual accountability and encouragement and personal
growth rather than numeric growth. You can earn the right over time
to invite someone only once to join you at a twelve-step meeting,
then you let it go. You don't preach at people, you live what you
practice instead, and recovery is something you do, one day at a time,
rather than something you are, once and for all, by reciting a handful
of words or taking part on a one-time ritual.
Talk
is cheap. Christians need to focus less on being Christian, especially
as the world has come to understand it, and invest more of themselves in
being more Christ-like, at least for today.
Do
you think I am on the right track? Thanks again for your wonderful
newsletter!
—Tom from Redwood City
Thank
you for your message. I appreciate your comments and your attitude.
Just don't forget that Christian evangelists are still active and that
I'll continue to oppose them in my writing.
The
real evil of Christian evangelism is when Christians enact their dogma
into legislation. Such legislation is repressive in that it forces
people to comply with beliefs with which they don't agree and punishes
people who refuse. All such legislation should be repealed.
Of course, that applies to all evangelists, not just to Christians.
Evangelism is contagious.
—editor
Greetings Sam:
Hope
you had a grand Christmas and great start to the new year. Now that
California's prop 57 has passed, I should get some action. My sentence
was 10 + a 5 year enhancement. "57" is supposed to abolish enhancements.
March 3rd will be my 10 year mark. As it is, I got an 85% term so,
if they abolish my 5
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