The Diary of Cyber Sleuth: Day Seven
Fiction by Sam Aurelius Milam III
Got tired of living in my little two room apartment. One day, sitting at my desk, it occurred to me that I didn't have to keep living there. I phonied up an excuse to leave the office, bosses might be watching so I'm careful, and headed down to my secret conference room. I guess it was along about then that I started thinking about myself as independent. I still work at NSA, National Security Agency, but maybe I could work for nsa, no such agency, me. At and for mean different things.
Anyway, I searched around and found a house that I liked. Not too big, not too pretentious, didn't want to attract a lot of attention. Just a nice house. Most important, a little remote. Not enough to be a nuisance but
|enough that I wouldn't be too obvious arriving
and leaving. Did some things in the real estate system and the house
was mine. Completely legitimate. Nobody will ever be able to
Next, I set up the utilities, electricity, gas, so forth. Nobody will ever be able to trace any of it to me but everything is paid automatically from sources that will never arouse any suspicion. There are a lot of big agencies in the world, most of them have black projects, and not a single one of them will ever notice the leaks that I made in their funding. One thing, I've been careful to never make a leak in an NSA project. Don't know why for sure, just seemed like a good precaution. A big part of hacking is attitude and a big part of attitude is instinct. Never ignore that little voice in your head.
Just to be on the safe side, maybe being a little paranoid, I made an arrangement with a local grocery store to have some food and other miscellaneous supplies delivered once a week, standard list unless I modify it. Paid automatically, of course. Guy leaves them just inside the side door. Had a special little alcove built there, he can get into the alcove but not into the house.
Nothing Can Impede Stupidity
Sam Aurelius Milam III
I've been watching a good many reruns of NCIS lately. In some ways it's an excellent show, with very interesting and well-acted characters. The show does have a very distasteful downside. Members of the investigative team break and enter, conduct improper surveillance, hack information systems, and otherwise obtain evidence improperly. They lose, falsify, or destroy evidence. They bully people who don't want to cooperate with them. In one episode, Gibbs, the team leader, threatened to make a wounded prisoner disappear, promising that neither his family nor his friends would ever know what had happened to him.1 In another episode, Gibbs threw a suspect against the interrogation room window so hard that the glass shattered. In yet another episode, he "prepped" a suspect for interrogation by forcing him to watch an autopsy as an example of what they were going to do to him, after they faked his suicide. More generally, the team members leave suspects alone in the interrogation room for long periods of time, bully them mercilessly, deceive them with false information, and threaten to invoke "terrorism" so as to detain them indefinitely. Requests by suspects for a lawyer are alleged by team members to be proof of guilt. They make a spectator sport of "breaking" suspects (as opposed to interrogating them), admiring one another's performances through the window and evaluating "style" as if they were doing Shakespeare. I understand that interrogators need answers but thuggery in a worthy cause is still thuggery. Eventually, you can't tell the good guys from the bad guys any more. In spite of it all, team members are still presented as heroes. Their thuggery is presented as necessary, for the best, done in good faith, and fully justified because they're the good guys. I fear that the show presents a large dose of police state propaganda and brainwashing.
Of course, I could watch America's Funniest Home Videos instead, but I'm disgusted by their censorship of anything sexual including, believe it or not, baby's genitals. So, I've been watching NCIS. Admittedly, NCIS has censorship, too. Bodies on the autopsy tables are strategically blurred or covered so that no sexual parts are ever visible. We're shown exit wounds, internal organs, stomach contents, severed body parts, and decomposed, mangled, burned, or dissected bodies, but never sex organs. The network censors must be sickos. Well, at least NCIS has Abby Sciuto and Ziva David, which is a lot better than watching Tom Bergeron. OK, so I chortle, make suggestive comments, and stare at them. So sue me.
The writing on NCIS is occasionally excellent, usually good, and sometimes bad. They have the normal writing errors that are common in TV and movies but, in Season Two, Episode 10, Chained, I saw a really bad error. The NCIS guys were trying to trick a prisoner, Jeffrey White, into revealing the whereabouts of his partner and the location of some stolen Iraqi antiquities. Tony DiNozzo was posing as another prisoner and was handcuffed to Jeffrey, on a prison bus. As per the plan and at the designated location along the road, the
|bus driver faked some kind of a seizure.
The bus careened off of the road. The guard in the back of
the bus faked a panic attack and rushed forward to unlock the cage so that
he could render aid to the driver. DiNozzo faked strangling the guard,
who faked being dead. DiNozzo then dragged Jeffrey off of the bus
and through the woods to the intended location, an unoccupied travel trailer
in a deserted campsite. DiNozzo and Jeffrey broke into the travel
trailer, handcuffed together and wearing their bright orange prison duds.
They came out of the travel trailer handcuffed together and wearing civilian
While I was writing this article, I started to doubt my memory. Could the writers really have made such a stupid mistake? To check on it, I bought the DVD and watched that sequence on my computer, several times, in step-frame mode. Yes, the writers really did make that mistake. As DiNozzo and Jeffrey were completing the change-of-clothes scene, they were still, definitely, handcuffed together. I visited a website that invites NCIS viewer's comments and I didn't see any complaints about the situation. It's bad enough that the writers made such a stupid blunder but, apparently, the viewers are so gullible that they're willing to accept without question the dazzling notion that DiNozzo and Jeffrey changed clothes while they were handcuffed together.
Why is it important? It's important because if people are stupid enough to believe that, then they'll believe anything. Maybe that's why the writers get away with all of that brainwashing. Maybe that's why the brainwashing works. Maybe the brainwashing is why people believe the nonsense that the government reported about the so-called terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. Maybe the brainwashing is why people refuse to believe my explanation of those attacks. Maybe. If so, then I can think of only one explanation for the success of the brainwashing. It's been suggested before. I'll suggest it again. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
Letter to the Editor
...In hindsight, I appreciate your discretion regarding anonymity, as this is a rare quality in today's society. Good lookin' out! After some thought, I agree with you in that prisoners should not be identified. Anything that does not, directly, identify me is beneficial. Thank you....
Sam, you have graciously included me in your subscription(s) for a few years, free of charge. You have no idea how much I look forward to my issue, each and every month. Once or twice I tried to send you a donation of some stamps and they 'disappeared' before they reached you. You printed my letter about that [February 2012 issue, page 2]. I am going to go against my better judgment and make the attempt, once more. PLEASE tell me if the book of stamps makes it to you, or if some sticky-fingered pig makes off with them, again.... I wish you nothing shy of happiness and prosperity.
I received the stamps this time. Thank you.
Sam Aurelius Milam III
•In a police state, innocent people have a greater need for lawyers than guilty people do.
•As long as tyrants and victims all continue to come from the same gene pool, there's hope for liberty.
•If there's a strong demand for a particular product or service, then the availability of that product or service cannot be prevented.
A White Man's Notes
My thanks to the following: SantaClara Bob; Lady Jan the Voluptuous; my mother; Dewey and Betty; and Robert, of Ione, California.
Words of Wisdom
Original Source Unknown. Forwarded by Lady Jan the Voluptuous.
A Woman's Revenge
Original Source Unknown. Forwarded by Sir Donald the Elusive.
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items that the woman wanted to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So," I asked, "do you always carry your TV remote?"
"No," she replied, "but my husband wouldn't come shopping with me and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
A Man's Mystery
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— Sam Aurelius Milam III, editor